Thought for the Week

We don't stop playing because we grow old...

We grow old because we stop playing.


If anyone knows where this quote is from, please let me know, and I will credit it.

Thought for the Day

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent -- Eleanor Roosevelt

SMILE

It makes people wonder what you're up to :)

Monday Night!

No, that does not mean football!! Not only is it Monday, but it was season opening-monday. Where should I start...OH YES...I learned on Big Bang Theory that you should never, ever tell a girl that she is not smart enough to date you!! Or that it is ok with you that she is "not smart." (I'm trying a little not to give away too many spoilers, as I know many people record their favorite shows and watch them later). I learned on How I Met Your Mother that sleeping around is not the way to get the woman you love to fall in love with you. I learned on Two and a Half Men that sometimes, if you plot deviously enough, you can guilt a man into giving you money. And I learned on Worst Week that jumping to conclusions generally puts you into hot water. And I laughed and laughed and laughed.

At least now I know how not to attract a female. Barney and Charlie have been great role models on the kind of men I don't want to be!!! OH, I almost forgot, "daddy issues" seemed to be a running gag last night, with the topper, of course, being the premiere of Worst Week being about the father.

Favorite shows? Do you read my blog? Is it amusing, or should I just quit? Let me know, PLEASE.

Priceless

One more commercial reference....

Have you seen the "priceless" commercial, in which fisrt base costs $58, second base is 750 pesos, and third base is 300,000 yen? I absolutely love it when the little boy hits the ball, you hear the very distinct sound of a window breaking, and and the next line is "Home -- priceless." Made me laugh out loud.

I was recently "caught" in an adult store. One of my friends noticed my monkey-bike in front of it, and casually asked what I was doing in the [furniture store], which happens to be next door. I kindly offered to share what I had bought at [not the furniture store], but said refused such information, claiming it would be too much to bear (or possibly monkey?).

This particular Monkey has been having way too much fun lately (with only a minor part of that fun related to above-mentioned adult store). Said fun has been in a personal attitude adjustment, whereas said Monkey has decided that life is too short to bitch. Maybe I'll just hang around with a bunch of bananas from now on. :)

Remote Control!!

Have you ever lost your remote? I know that I have personally lost my remote more times than I've been able to count. I have been known to spend HOURS (ok, maybe really only minutes) looking for the darn thing, when all I really had to do was get up off my monkey butt and turn on the tv!! I have also been known to sit in front of the tv on the couch, with the tv off for lack of knowing exactly where the remote control is.

And speaking of tv, I really like the new Sasquatch commercial. Something with remote control airplanes...it's about time that Sasquatch starts getting his revenge!!!

What's your favorite commercial? What silly things have you done due to lost-remoted-ness?

5 stupid jokes

1. What's green and has wheels?
2. How does a witch tell time?
3. How do you catch a unique rabbit?
4. How do you catch a tame rabbit?
5. (This is a long one...)

Hello Statue

A very poor man from Italy comes to the US to make his fortune. He works very hard for a very long time, and finally succeeds at having plenty of money. He decides that he should have a very large house built on top of a very high hill. He calls a prominent architect, and requests the house of his dreams. During the interview, there was conversation that went something like this:
Italian Man: I want a big house, on a big hill.
Architect: I can do that
Italian Man: With lots of rooms and lots of staircases...one going up, one going down, and one going nowhere, just for show
Architect: Umm...ok, I can do that
Italian Man: And in every room, I want a "Hello Statue."
Long pause, while architect thinks "What the heck is a 'Hello Statue'? I don't want to look stupid in front of this guy."
Architect (out loud): I can do that.

So, the architect goes about designing this house, with 22 rooms, and three staircases. As he hires contractors, architect asks each one "Have you ever heard of a 'Hello Statue'?" One by one, they admit that they've never heard of such a thing. Architect also asks all other architects he knows, and all of his friends. No one has ever heard of a "Hello Statue."

Finally, house is finished. Italian Man goes to look at house and exclaims "BEAUTIFUL! JUST WHAT I WANTED. But, but, where are 'Hello Statues?"

Architect: I know you wanted one in every room, but I've talked to everyone I know, and no one knows what that is. If you tell me, I will happily put one in every room."

Italian Man: That's easy. Hello Statue is a little box that sits on table. When it goes b-r-r-ing, b-r-r-ing, you pick it up and say "Hello, Statue?"

For answers to the riddles above, leave a comment. I will comment back...

I love suspense!!