Usually, I'm not very "politically involved", but this really has more to do with the media than the actual politics. Obama has made two, shall we say, "unfortunate" metaphors in the last few days, one of which the media covered at great length, the other of which I had to search the 'net to be certain of its truth.
The link to the second one is at ABC News, in which our wonderful President Obama compares the banking industry to suicide bombers (think terrorists). Since when do we negotiate with terrorists??
The first metaphor was comparing his bowling skills to the special olympics. Since I am a good little monkey, and go to bed early, I missed this appearance on the Jay Leno show, but a quick search reveals no less than 900,000 results on the web, most with videos. The ABC news link? Third on the page, and the first two were not directly related to my search.
I dare you...try both of these searches and see what you get.
"Barack Obama" "Suicide Bombers"
"Barack Obama" "Jay Leno"
Oh, and by the way, he apologized for the Special Olympics remark, but has not yet (and I doubt if he will) apologized for using the bailout money to negotiate with terrorists.
21 March 2009
27 February 2009
Sacred Ritual
There once was a man who had heard of a sacred ritual from a remote tribe in Africa. No one from outside the tribe had ever been allowed to witness the ritual. It was very intriguing. The tribe was very civilised, but this yearly ritual was such a strong tradition that they would not give it up.
The man was doing a study in Africa and went and spoke to the head of the tribe. He asked, begged, and pleaded for an opportunity to witness the ritual. The tribe leader got together with the tribal council and discussed this issue. "Our ritual has been performed for thousands of years, and no one outside of our tribe has ever witnessed it. Our daughters are marrying outside of the tribe, and I am concerned that this ritual will die in a few generations. I feel that we should allow one outsider to witness this, and share it with his children."
One of the tribal council spoke up and said "This outsider must become one of our tribe by marrying one of our own. He must be sworn to secrecy, and never put the details of our ritual into any written form. It is our tradition that this ritual has never been written down, nor do we feel that it should be."
The tribal council gave a hearty cheer at this speech. The tribal leader considered carefully the words of his tribal council, and went and spoke with the mann who had asked to witness the ritual.
"My council and I have come to an agreement. You may witness the ritual if you become one of our tribe by marrying one of our daughters. You may not ever write down the details of this ritual, and you may only share it with your own children, who must also share it with their children."
The man was ecstatic, because the time of the ritual was near, but he loved the tribal leader's daughter, who also loved him. He had been hoping to be able to marry the beautiful woman, and this was his dream come true. "With your permission, Great Leader, I would like to marry your daughter. I love her very much and I believe she loves me also."
The tribal leader then consulted with his wife and his daughter, and agreed to the marriage.
The time of the ritual finally arrived. The entire tribe packed for the trip to the site of the ritual. Although the weather was mild, the man noticed that the tribe was packing winter coats, heavy boots, hats and gloves. The tribe then climbed the highest mountain in the area, to a remote spot within where there was a wide opening and perfectly flat.
The man was thinking "After all these years, I finally get to witness the most sacred ritual of this tribe. I made a promise to never write it down, and share it with my children. I will keep these promises, but what a privelege to be among this tribe at this time."
The tribe arranged themselves in a large circle, and the ritual began:
"You put your right hand in, you put your right hand out..."
The man was doing a study in Africa and went and spoke to the head of the tribe. He asked, begged, and pleaded for an opportunity to witness the ritual. The tribe leader got together with the tribal council and discussed this issue. "Our ritual has been performed for thousands of years, and no one outside of our tribe has ever witnessed it. Our daughters are marrying outside of the tribe, and I am concerned that this ritual will die in a few generations. I feel that we should allow one outsider to witness this, and share it with his children."
One of the tribal council spoke up and said "This outsider must become one of our tribe by marrying one of our own. He must be sworn to secrecy, and never put the details of our ritual into any written form. It is our tradition that this ritual has never been written down, nor do we feel that it should be."
The tribal council gave a hearty cheer at this speech. The tribal leader considered carefully the words of his tribal council, and went and spoke with the mann who had asked to witness the ritual.
"My council and I have come to an agreement. You may witness the ritual if you become one of our tribe by marrying one of our daughters. You may not ever write down the details of this ritual, and you may only share it with your own children, who must also share it with their children."
The man was ecstatic, because the time of the ritual was near, but he loved the tribal leader's daughter, who also loved him. He had been hoping to be able to marry the beautiful woman, and this was his dream come true. "With your permission, Great Leader, I would like to marry your daughter. I love her very much and I believe she loves me also."
The tribal leader then consulted with his wife and his daughter, and agreed to the marriage.
The time of the ritual finally arrived. The entire tribe packed for the trip to the site of the ritual. Although the weather was mild, the man noticed that the tribe was packing winter coats, heavy boots, hats and gloves. The tribe then climbed the highest mountain in the area, to a remote spot within where there was a wide opening and perfectly flat.
The man was thinking "After all these years, I finally get to witness the most sacred ritual of this tribe. I made a promise to never write it down, and share it with my children. I will keep these promises, but what a privelege to be among this tribe at this time."
The tribe arranged themselves in a large circle, and the ritual began:
"You put your right hand in, you put your right hand out..."
09 December 2008
Thought for the Week
We don't stop playing because we grow old...
We grow old because we stop playing.
If anyone knows where this quote is from, please let me know, and I will credit it.
We grow old because we stop playing.
If anyone knows where this quote is from, please let me know, and I will credit it.
28 October 2008
27 October 2008
23 September 2008
Monday Night!
No, that does not mean football!! Not only is it Monday, but it was season opening-monday. Where should I start...OH YES...I learned on Big Bang Theory that you should never, ever tell a girl that she is not smart enough to date you!! Or that it is ok with you that she is "not smart." (I'm trying a little not to give away too many spoilers, as I know many people record their favorite shows and watch them later). I learned on How I Met Your Mother that sleeping around is not the way to get the woman you love to fall in love with you. I learned on Two and a Half Men that sometimes, if you plot deviously enough, you can guilt a man into giving you money. And I learned on Worst Week that jumping to conclusions generally puts you into hot water. And I laughed and laughed and laughed.
At least now I know how not to attract a female. Barney and Charlie have been great role models on the kind of men I don't want to be!!! OH, I almost forgot, "daddy issues" seemed to be a running gag last night, with the topper, of course, being the premiere of Worst Week being about the father.
Favorite shows? Do you read my blog? Is it amusing, or should I just quit? Let me know, PLEASE.
At least now I know how not to attract a female. Barney and Charlie have been great role models on the kind of men I don't want to be!!! OH, I almost forgot, "daddy issues" seemed to be a running gag last night, with the topper, of course, being the premiere of Worst Week being about the father.
Favorite shows? Do you read my blog? Is it amusing, or should I just quit? Let me know, PLEASE.
20 September 2008
Priceless
One more commercial reference....
Have you seen the "priceless" commercial, in which fisrt base costs $58, second base is 750 pesos, and third base is 300,000 yen? I absolutely love it when the little boy hits the ball, you hear the very distinct sound of a window breaking, and and the next line is "Home -- priceless." Made me laugh out loud.
I was recently "caught" in an adult store. One of my friends noticed my monkey-bike in front of it, and casually asked what I was doing in the [furniture store], which happens to be next door. I kindly offered to share what I had bought at [not the furniture store], but said refused such information, claiming it would be too much to bear (or possibly monkey?).
This particular Monkey has been having way too much fun lately (with only a minor part of that fun related to above-mentioned adult store). Said fun has been in a personal attitude adjustment, whereas said Monkey has decided that life is too short to bitch. Maybe I'll just hang around with a bunch of bananas from now on. :)
Have you seen the "priceless" commercial, in which fisrt base costs $58, second base is 750 pesos, and third base is 300,000 yen? I absolutely love it when the little boy hits the ball, you hear the very distinct sound of a window breaking, and and the next line is "Home -- priceless." Made me laugh out loud.
I was recently "caught" in an adult store. One of my friends noticed my monkey-bike in front of it, and casually asked what I was doing in the [furniture store], which happens to be next door. I kindly offered to share what I had bought at [not the furniture store], but said refused such information, claiming it would be too much to bear (or possibly monkey?).
This particular Monkey has been having way too much fun lately (with only a minor part of that fun related to above-mentioned adult store). Said fun has been in a personal attitude adjustment, whereas said Monkey has decided that life is too short to bitch. Maybe I'll just hang around with a bunch of bananas from now on. :)
15 September 2008
Remote Control!!
Have you ever lost your remote? I know that I have personally lost my remote more times than I've been able to count. I have been known to spend HOURS (ok, maybe really only minutes) looking for the darn thing, when all I really had to do was get up off my monkey butt and turn on the tv!! I have also been known to sit in front of the tv on the couch, with the tv off for lack of knowing exactly where the remote control is.
And speaking of tv, I really like the new Sasquatch commercial. Something with remote control airplanes...it's about time that Sasquatch starts getting his revenge!!!
What's your favorite commercial? What silly things have you done due to lost-remoted-ness?
And speaking of tv, I really like the new Sasquatch commercial. Something with remote control airplanes...it's about time that Sasquatch starts getting his revenge!!!
What's your favorite commercial? What silly things have you done due to lost-remoted-ness?
16 August 2008
5 stupid jokes
1. What's green and has wheels?
2. How does a witch tell time?
3. How do you catch a unique rabbit?
4. How do you catch a tame rabbit?
5. (This is a long one...)
Hello Statue
A very poor man from Italy comes to the US to make his fortune. He works very hard for a very long time, and finally succeeds at having plenty of money. He decides that he should have a very large house built on top of a very high hill. He calls a prominent architect, and requests the house of his dreams. During the interview, there was conversation that went something like this:
Italian Man: I want a big house, on a big hill.
Architect: I can do that
Italian Man: With lots of rooms and lots of staircases...one going up, one going down, and one going nowhere, just for show
Architect: Umm...ok, I can do that
Italian Man: And in every room, I want a "Hello Statue."
Long pause, while architect thinks "What the heck is a 'Hello Statue'? I don't want to look stupid in front of this guy."
Architect (out loud): I can do that.
So, the architect goes about designing this house, with 22 rooms, and three staircases. As he hires contractors, architect asks each one "Have you ever heard of a 'Hello Statue'?" One by one, they admit that they've never heard of such a thing. Architect also asks all other architects he knows, and all of his friends. No one has ever heard of a "Hello Statue."
Finally, house is finished. Italian Man goes to look at house and exclaims "BEAUTIFUL! JUST WHAT I WANTED. But, but, where are 'Hello Statues?"
Architect: I know you wanted one in every room, but I've talked to everyone I know, and no one knows what that is. If you tell me, I will happily put one in every room."
Italian Man: That's easy. Hello Statue is a little box that sits on table. When it goes b-r-r-ing, b-r-r-ing, you pick it up and say "Hello, Statue?"
For answers to the riddles above, leave a comment. I will comment back...
I love suspense!!
2. How does a witch tell time?
3. How do you catch a unique rabbit?
4. How do you catch a tame rabbit?
5. (This is a long one...)
Hello Statue
A very poor man from Italy comes to the US to make his fortune. He works very hard for a very long time, and finally succeeds at having plenty of money. He decides that he should have a very large house built on top of a very high hill. He calls a prominent architect, and requests the house of his dreams. During the interview, there was conversation that went something like this:
Italian Man: I want a big house, on a big hill.
Architect: I can do that
Italian Man: With lots of rooms and lots of staircases...one going up, one going down, and one going nowhere, just for show
Architect: Umm...ok, I can do that
Italian Man: And in every room, I want a "Hello Statue."
Long pause, while architect thinks "What the heck is a 'Hello Statue'? I don't want to look stupid in front of this guy."
Architect (out loud): I can do that.
So, the architect goes about designing this house, with 22 rooms, and three staircases. As he hires contractors, architect asks each one "Have you ever heard of a 'Hello Statue'?" One by one, they admit that they've never heard of such a thing. Architect also asks all other architects he knows, and all of his friends. No one has ever heard of a "Hello Statue."
Finally, house is finished. Italian Man goes to look at house and exclaims "BEAUTIFUL! JUST WHAT I WANTED. But, but, where are 'Hello Statues?"
Architect: I know you wanted one in every room, but I've talked to everyone I know, and no one knows what that is. If you tell me, I will happily put one in every room."
Italian Man: That's easy. Hello Statue is a little box that sits on table. When it goes b-r-r-ing, b-r-r-ing, you pick it up and say "Hello, Statue?"
For answers to the riddles above, leave a comment. I will comment back...
I love suspense!!
07 August 2008
Five Things That Make Me Laugh
1. Stupid Jokes (the stupider, the better) (What's green and has wheels??)
2. Funny faces
3. Well-made commercials
4. Just a little too much alcohol (I have also been known to sing under these circumstances)
5. Pictures of me
2. Funny faces
3. Well-made commercials
4. Just a little too much alcohol (I have also been known to sing under these circumstances)
5. Pictures of me
05 August 2008
Not laughing?
Here is a picture of me reading New Moon by Stephenie Meyer. This is the second in an excellent series of books. I've heard that the fourth one is now in stores, and is very highly recommended by those who have already purchased it.
(I just didn't want you to think that I spend all my time watching tv and drinking)
Messin' with Sasquatch
Have you seen these commercials. I personally (or is that monkey-ly) find them hilarious. I saw a new one last night that made me laugh out loud. A group of "young adults" were just getting out of what looked to be a local swimming hole (read -- lake). Sasquatch comes out of nowhere, bends over, and gets a drink (or is possibly fishing) from the lake. One of the girls in the party hands her wet towel to one of the boys, who then snaps the Sasquatch with the towel. A little cruel, and not very funny, right? So, the Sasquatch grabs the boy by his swim trunks, and throws him into the lake, but never lets go of the trunks. You get a very funny picture for about 2 seconds of the boy in the air with his mid-section "scribbled."
What is your favorite commercial? Why?
What is your favorite commercial? Why?
04 August 2008
Celebration
I recently celebrated my 21st birthday by going to a local watering hole. The bartender looked me up and down and said "Sorry, we don't serve monkeys here," which made me think of this joke:
Three ropes went out to their local watering hole and asked for a drink. The bartender said "Didn't you see our sign? We don't serve ropes here." In a very disappointed fashion, they walked out of the bar and around the corner.
They stood their discussing their ruined plans for the evening when the biggest rope declared "They can't do that, it's discrimination!" So, he marched back into the bar and demanded a drink. The bartender was a little frustrated and threw the rope right out the door. The rope went and joined his friends saying, "Boy, that place is really tough."
The next biggest rope, who had been pondering the discrimination issue, decided he was going to try his luck at getting a drink. He very quietly walked up to the bar and said in his most coquettish voice "Could I pretty please have a drink?"
The bartender took one look at him, picked him up, and threw him out the door.
The rope re-joined his friends, saying "That bartender has no heart at all. I tried to be nice!!"
The littlest rope had been listening to these conversations, and came up with a plan of his own. He said "I'll be right back with three drinks. Wait for me here." His fellow ropes thought he was crazy, but they didn't want to leave him behind, fearing he would get seriously injured when thrown through the door.
As he turned the corner, this littlest of ropes twisted himself all up and pulled out some of the ends of his rope. He walked into the bar and asked for a drink. The bartender gave him a funny look and said "Aren't you a rope?"
The littlest rope looked the bartender straight in the eye and said "Nope, frayed knot."
That was my laugh for that day. I'll keep you posted on the laughs I have daily, and hopefully, we'll be able to laugh together!
Three ropes went out to their local watering hole and asked for a drink. The bartender said "Didn't you see our sign? We don't serve ropes here." In a very disappointed fashion, they walked out of the bar and around the corner.
They stood their discussing their ruined plans for the evening when the biggest rope declared "They can't do that, it's discrimination!" So, he marched back into the bar and demanded a drink. The bartender was a little frustrated and threw the rope right out the door. The rope went and joined his friends saying, "Boy, that place is really tough."
The next biggest rope, who had been pondering the discrimination issue, decided he was going to try his luck at getting a drink. He very quietly walked up to the bar and said in his most coquettish voice "Could I pretty please have a drink?"
The bartender took one look at him, picked him up, and threw him out the door.
The rope re-joined his friends, saying "That bartender has no heart at all. I tried to be nice!!"
The littlest rope had been listening to these conversations, and came up with a plan of his own. He said "I'll be right back with three drinks. Wait for me here." His fellow ropes thought he was crazy, but they didn't want to leave him behind, fearing he would get seriously injured when thrown through the door.
As he turned the corner, this littlest of ropes twisted himself all up and pulled out some of the ends of his rope. He walked into the bar and asked for a drink. The bartender gave him a funny look and said "Aren't you a rope?"
The littlest rope looked the bartender straight in the eye and said "Nope, frayed knot."
That was my laugh for that day. I'll keep you posted on the laughs I have daily, and hopefully, we'll be able to laugh together!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
